Chapter 16 - Nicholas seeks to employ himself in a New Capacity, and beingunsuccessful, accepts an engagement as Tutor in a Private Family
The first care of Nicholas, next morning, was, to look after some roomin which, until better times dawned upon him, he could contrive toexist, without trenching upon the hospitality of Newman Noggs, who wouldhave slept upon the stairs with pleasure, so that his young friend wasaccommodated.
The vacant apartment to which the bill in the parlour window borereference, appeared, on inquiry, to be a small back-room on the secondfloor, reclaimed from the leads, and overlooking a soot-bespeckledprospect of tiles and chimney-pots. For the letting of this portion ofthe house from week to week, on reasonable terms, the parlour lodger wasempowered to treat; he being deputed by the landlord to dispose ofthe rooms as they became vacant, and to keep a sharp look-out that thelodgers didn't run away. As a means of securing the punctual dischargeof which last service he was permitted to live rent-free, lest he shouldat any time be tempted to run away himself.
Of this chamber, Nicholas became the tenant; and having hired a fewcommon articles of furniture from a neighbouring broker, and paidthe first week's hire in advance, out of a small fund raised by theconversion of some spare clothes into ready money, he sat himself downto ruminate upon his prospects, which, like the prospect outside hiswindow, were sufficiently confined and dingy. As they by no meansimproved on better acquaintance, and as familiarity breeds contempt, heresolved to banish them from his thoughts by dint of hard walking. So,taking up his hat, and leaving poor Smike to arrange and rearrange theroom with as much delight as if it had been the costliest palace, hebetook himself to the streets, and mingled with the crowd which throngedthem.
Although a man may lose a sense of his own importance when he is a mereunit among a busy throng, all utterly regardless of him, it by no meansfollows that he can dispossess himself, with equal facility, of a verystrong sense of the importance and magnitude of his cares. The unhappystate of his own affairs was the one idea which occupied the brain ofNicholas, walk as fast as he would; and when he tried to dislodge it byspeculating on the situation and prospects of the people who surroundedhim, he caught himself, in a few seconds, contrasting their conditionwith his own, and gliding almost imperceptibly back into his old trainof thought again.
Occupied in these reflections, as he was making his way along one of thegreat public thoroughfares of London, he chanced to raise his eyes toa blue board, whereon was inscribed, in characters of gold, 'GeneralAgency Office; for places and situations of all kinds inquire within.'It was a shop-front, fitted up with a gauze blind and an inner door;and in the window hung a long and tempting array of written placards,announcing vacant places of every grade, from a secretary's to afoot-boy's.
Nicholas halted, instinctively, before this temple of promise, and ranhis eye over the capital-text openings in life which were so profuselydisplayed. When he had completed his survey he walked on a little way,and then back, and then on again; at length, after pausing irresolutelyseveral times before the door of the General Agency Office, he made uphis mind, and stepped in.
He found himself in a little floor-clothed room, with a high desk railedoff in one corner, behind which sat a lean youth with cunning eyes and aprotruding chin, whose performances in capital-text darkened the window.He had a thick ledger lying open before him, and with the fingers of hisright hand inserted between the leaves, and his eyes fixed on a veryfat old lady in a mob-cap--evidently the proprietress of theestablishment--who was airing herself at the fire, seemed to be onlywaiting her directions to refer to some entries contained within itsrusty clasps.
As there was a board outside, which acquainted the public thatservants-of-all-work were perpetually in waiting to be hired from tentill four, Nicholas knew at once that some half-dozen strong youngwomen, each with pattens and an umbrella, who were sitting upon a formin one corner, were in attendance for that purpose: especially as thepoor things looked anxious and weary. He was not quite so certain of thecallings and stations of two smart young ladies who were in conversationwith the fat lady before the fire, until--having sat himself down in acorner, and remarked that he would wait until the other customers hadbeen served--the fat lady resumed the dialogue which his entrance hadinterrupted.
'Cook, Tom,' said the fat lady, still airing herself as aforesaid.
'Cook,' said Tom, turning over some leaves of the ledger. 'Well!'
'Read out an easy place or two,' said the fat lady.
'Pick out very light ones, if you please, young man,' interposed agenteel female, in shepherd's-plaid boots, who appeared to be theclient.
'"Mrs Marker,"' said Tom, reading, '"Russell Place, Russell Square;offers eighteen guineas; tea and sugar found. Two in family, and seevery little company. Five servants kept. No man. No followers."'
'Oh Lor!' tittered the client. 'THAT won't do. Read another, young man,will you?'
'"Mrs Wrymug,"' said Tom, '"Pleasant Place, Finsbury. Wages, twelveguineas. No tea, no sugar. Serious family--"'
'Ah! you needn't mind reading that,' interrupted the client.
'"Three serious footmen,"' said Tom, impressively.
'Three? did you say?' asked the client in an altered tone.
'Three serious footmen,' replied Tom. '"Cook, housemaid, and nursemaid;each female servant required to join the Little Bethel Congregationthree times every Sunday--with a serious footman. If the cook is moreserious than the footman, she will be expected to improve the footman;if the footman is more serious than the cook, he will be expected toimprove the cook."'
'I'll take the address of that place,' said the client; 'I don't knowbut what it mightn't suit me pretty well.'
'Here's another,' remarked Tom, turning over the leaves. '"Family of MrGallanbile, MP. Fifteen guineas, tea and sugar, and servants allowedto see male cousins, if godly. Note. Cold dinner in the kitchen on theSabbath, Mr Gallanbile being devoted to the Observance question. Novictuals whatever cooked on the Lord's Day, with the exception of dinnerfor Mr and Mrs Gallanbile, which, being a work of piety and necessity,is exempted. Mr Gallanbile dines late on the day of rest, in order toprevent the sinfulness of the cook's dressing herself."'
'I don't think that'll answer as well as the other,' said the client,after a little whispering with her friend. 'I'll take the otherdirection, if you please, young man. I can but come back again, if itdon't do.'
Tom made out the address, as requested, and the genteel client,having satisfied the fat lady with a small fee, meanwhile, went awayaccompanied by her friend.
As Nicholas opened his mouth, to request the young man to turn to letterS, and let him know what secretaryships remained undisposed of, therecame into the office an applicant, in whose favour he immediatelyretired, and whose appearance both surprised and interested him.
This was a young lady who could be scarcely eighteen, of very slight anddelicate figure, but exquisitely shaped, who, walking timidly up to thedesk, made an inquiry, in a very low tone of voice, relative to somesituation as governess, or companion to a lady. She raised her veil, foran instant, while she preferred the inquiry, and disclosed a countenanceof most uncommon beauty, though shaded by a cloud of sadness, which, inone so young, was doubly remarkable. Having received a card of referenceto some person on the books, she made the usual acknowledgment, andglided away.
She was neatly, but very quietly attired; so much so, indeed, that itseemed as though her dress, if it had been worn by one who impartedfewer graces of her own to it, might have looked poor and shabby. Herattendant--for she had one--was a red-faced, round-eyed, slovenly girl,who, from a certain roughness about the bare arms that peeped from underher draggled shawl, and the half-washed-out traces of smut andblacklead which tattooed her countenance, was clearly of a kin with theservants-of-all-work on the form: between whom and herself there hadpassed various grins and glances, indicative of the freemasonry of thecraft.
This girl followed her mistress; and, before Nicholas had recovered fromthe first effects of his surprise and admiration, the young lady wasgone. It is not a matter of such complete and utter improbability assome sober people may think, that he would have followed them out,had he not been restrained by what passed between the fat lady and herbook-keeper.
'When is she coming again, Tom?' asked the fat lady.
'Tomorrow morning,' replied Tom, mending his pen.
'Where have you sent her to?' asked the fat lady.
'Mrs Clark's,' replied Tom.
'She'll have a nice life of it, if she goes there,' observed the fatlady, taking a pinch of snuff from a tin box.
Tom made no other reply than thrusting his tongue into his cheek,and pointing the feather of his pen towards Nicholas--reminders whichelicited from the fat lady an inquiry, of 'Now, sir, what can we do forYOU?'
Nicholas briefly replied, that he wanted to know whether there was anysuch post to be had, as secretary or amanuensis to a gentleman.
'Any such!' rejoined the mistress; 'a-dozen-such. An't there, Tom?'
'I should think so,' answered that young gentleman; and as he said it,he winked towards Nicholas, with a degree of familiarity which he,no doubt, intended for a rather flattering compliment, but with whichNicholas was most ungratefully disgusted.
Upon reference to the book, it appeared that the dozen secretaryshipshad dwindled down to one. Mr Gregsbury, the great member of parliament,of Manchester Buildings, Westminster, wanted a young man, to keep hispapers and correspondence in order; and Nicholas was exactly the sort ofyoung man that Mr Gregsbury wanted.
'I don't know what the terms are, as he said he'd settle them himselfwith the party,' observed the fat lady; 'but they must be pretty goodones, because he's a member of parliament.'
Inexperienced as he was, Nicholas did not feel quite assured of theforce of this reasoning, or the justice of this conclusion; but withouttroubling himself to question it, he took down the address, and resolvedto wait upon Mr Gregsbury without delay.
'I don't know what the number is,' said Tom; 'but Manchester Buildingsisn't a large place; and if the worst comes to the worst it won't takeyou very long to knock at all the doors on both sides of the way tillyou find him out. I say, what a good-looking gal that was, wasn't she?'
'What girl?' demanded Nicholas, sternly.
'Oh yes. I know--what gal, eh?' whispered Tom, shutting one eye, andcocking his chin in the air. 'You didn't see her, you didn't--I say,don't you wish you was me, when she comes tomorrow morning?'
Nicholas looked at the ugly clerk, as if he had a mind to reward hisadmiration of the young lady by beating the ledger about his ears,but he refrained, and strode haughtily out of the office; setting atdefiance, in his indignation, those ancient laws of chivalry, which notonly made it proper and lawful for all good knights to hear the praiseof the ladies to whom they were devoted, but rendered it incumbent uponthem to roam about the world, and knock at head all such matter-of-factand un-poetical characters, as declined to exalt, above all the earth,damsels whom they had never chanced to look upon or hear of--as if thatwere any excuse!
Thinking no longer of his own misfortunes, but wondering what couldbe those of the beautiful girl he had seen, Nicholas, with many wrongturns, and many inquiries, and almost as many misdirections, bent hissteps towards the place whither he had been directed.
Within the precincts of the ancient city of Westminster, and withinhalf a quarter of a mile of its ancient sanctuary, is a narrow and dirtyregion, the sanctuary of the smaller members of Parliament in moderndays. It is all comprised in one street of gloomy lodging-houses, fromwhose windows, in vacation-time, there frown long melancholy rows ofbills, which say, as plainly as did the countenances of their occupiers,ranged on ministerial and opposition benches in the session whichslumbers with its fathers, 'To Let', 'To Let'. In busier periods of theyear these bills disappear, and the houses swarm with legislators. Thereare legislators in the parlours, in the first floor, in the second, inthe third, in the garrets; the small apartments reek with the breath ofdeputations and delegates. In damp weather, the place is rendered close,by the steams of moist acts of parliament and frouzy petitions; generalpostmen grow faint as they enter its infected limits, and shabby figuresin quest of franks, flit restlessly to and fro like the troubled ghostsof Complete Letter-writers departed. This is Manchester Buildings; andhere, at all hours of the night, may be heard the rattling of latch-keysin their respective keyholes: with now and then--when a gust of windsweeping across the water which washes the Buildings' feet, impels thesound towards its entrance--the weak, shrill voice of some young memberpractising tomorrow's speech. All the livelong day, there is a grindingof organs and clashing and clanging of little boxes of music; forManchester Buildings is an eel-pot, which has no outlet but its awkwardmouth--a case-bottle which has no thoroughfare, and a short and narrowneck--and in this respect it may be typical of the fate of some fewamong its more adventurous residents, who, after wriggling themselvesinto Parliament by violent efforts and contortions, find that it, too,is no thoroughfare for them; that, like Manchester Buildings, it leadsto nothing beyond itself; and that they are fain at last to back out, nowiser, no richer, not one whit more famous, than they went in.
Into Manchester Buildings Nicholas turned, with the address of the greatMr Gregsbury in his hand. As there was a stream of people pouring intoa shabby house not far from the entrance, he waited until they had madetheir way in, and then making up to the servant, ventured to inquire ifhe knew where Mr Gregsbury lived.
The servant was a very pale, shabby boy, who looked as if he had sleptunderground from his infancy, as very likely he had. 'Mr Gregsbury?'said he; 'Mr Gregsbury lodges here. It's all right. Come in!'
Nicholas thought he might as well get in while he could, so in hewalked; and he had no sooner done so, than the boy shut the door, andmade off.
This was odd enough: but what was more embarrassing was, that all alongthe passage, and all along the narrow stairs, blocking up the window,and making the dark entry darker still, was a confused crowd ofpersons with great importance depicted in their looks; who were, to allappearance, waiting in silent expectation of some coming event. Fromtime to time, one man would whisper his neighbour, or a little groupwould whisper together, and then the whisperers would nod fiercely toeach other, or give their heads a relentless shake, as if they were bentupon doing something very desperate, and were determined not to be putoff, whatever happened.
As a few minutes elapsed without anything occurring to explain thisphenomenon, and as he felt his own position a peculiarly uncomfortableone, Nicholas was on the point of seeking some information from the mannext him, when a sudden move was visible on the stairs, and a voice washeard to cry, 'Now, gentleman, have the goodness to walk up!'
So far from walking up, the gentlemen on the stairs began to walk downwith great alacrity, and to entreat, with extraordinary politeness, thatthe gentlemen nearest the street would go first; the gentlemen nearestthe street retorted, with equal courtesy, that they couldn't think ofsuch a thing on any account; but they did it, without thinking of it,inasmuch as the other gentlemen pressing some half-dozen (among whom wasNicholas) forward, and closing up behind, pushed them, not merely up thestairs, but into the very sitting-room of Mr Gregsbury, which they werethus compelled to enter with most unseemly precipitation, and withoutthe means of retreat; the press behind them, more than filling theapartment.
'Gentlemen,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'you are welcome. I am rejoiced to seeyou.'
For a gentleman who was rejoiced to see a body of visitors, Mr Gregsburylooked as uncomfortable as might be; but perhaps this was occasioned bysenatorial gravity, and a statesmanlike habit of keeping his feelingsunder control. He was a tough, burly, thick-headed gentleman, with aloud voice, a pompous manner, a tolerable command of sentences with nomeaning in them, and, in short, every requisite for a very good memberindeed.
'Now, gentlemen,' said Mr Gregsbury, tossing a great bundle of papersinto a wicker basket at his feet, and throwing himself back in his chairwith his arms over the elbows, 'you are dissatisfied with my conduct, Isee by the newspapers.'
'Yes, Mr Gregsbury, we are,' said a plump old gentleman in a violentheat, bursting out of the throng, and planting himself in the front.
'Do my eyes deceive me,' said Mr Gregsbury, looking towards the speaker,'or is that my old friend Pugstyles?'
'I am that man, and no other, sir,' replied the plump old gentleman.
'Give me your hand, my worthy friend,' said Mr Gregsbury. 'Pugstyles, mydear friend, I am very sorry to see you here.'
'I am very sorry to be here, sir,' said Mr Pugstyles; 'but your conduct,Mr Gregsbury, has rendered this deputation from your constituentsimperatively necessary.'
'My conduct, Pugstyles,' said Mr Gregsbury, looking round upon thedeputation with gracious magnanimity--'my conduct has been, and everwill be, regulated by a sincere regard for the true and real interestsof this great and happy country. Whether I look at home, or abroad;whether I behold the peaceful industrious communities of our islandhome: her rivers covered with steamboats, her roads with locomotives,her streets with cabs, her skies with balloons of a power and magnitudehitherto unknown in the history of aeronautics in this or any othernation--I say, whether I look merely at home, or, stretching myeyes farther, contemplate the boundless prospect of conquest andpossession--achieved by British perseverance and British valour--whichis outspread before me, I clasp my hands, and turning my eyes to thebroad expanse above my head, exclaim, "Thank Heaven, I am a Briton!"'
The time had been, when this burst of enthusiasm would have been cheeredto the very echo; but now, the deputation received it with chillingcoldness. The general impression seemed to be, that as an explanationof Mr Gregsbury's political conduct, it did not enter quite enough intodetail; and one gentleman in the rear did not scruple to remark aloud,that, for his purpose, it savoured rather too much of a 'gammon'tendency.
'The meaning of that term--gammon,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'is unknownto me. If it means that I grow a little too fervid, or perhaps evenhyperbolical, in extolling my native land, I admit the full justice ofthe remark. I AM proud of this free and happy country. My form dilates,my eye glistens, my breast heaves, my heart swells, my bosom burns, whenI call to mind her greatness and her glory.'
'We wish, sir,' remarked Mr Pugstyles, calmly, 'to ask you a fewquestions.'
'If you please, gentlemen; my time is yours--and my country's--and mycountry's--' said Mr Gregsbury.
This permission being conceded, Mr Pugstyles put on his spectacles, andreferred to a written paper which he drew from his pocket; whereuponnearly every other member of the deputation pulled a written paper fromHIS pocket, to check Mr Pugstyles off, as he read the questions.
This done, Mr Pugstyles proceeded to business.
'Question number one.--Whether, sir, you did not give a voluntary pledgeprevious to your election, that in event of your being returned, youwould immediately put down the practice of coughing and groaning inthe House of Commons. And whether you did not submit to be coughed andgroaned down in the very first debate of the session, and have sincemade no effort to effect a reform in this respect? Whether you did notalso pledge yourself to astonish the government, and make them shrink intheir shoes? And whether you have astonished them, and made them shrinkin their shoes, or not?'
'Go on to the next one, my dear Pugstyles,' said Mr Gregsbury.
'Have you any explanation to offer with reference to that question,sir?' asked Mr Pugstyles.
'Certainly not,' said Mr Gregsbury.
The members of the deputation looked fiercely at each other, andafterwards at the member. 'Dear Pugstyles' having taken a very longstare at Mr Gregsbury over the tops of his spectacles, resumed his listof inquiries.
'Question number two.--Whether, sir, you did not likewise give avoluntary pledge that you would support your colleague on everyoccasion; and whether you did not, the night before last, desert himand vote upon the other side, because the wife of a leader on that otherside had invited Mrs Gregsbury to an evening party?'
'Go on,' said Mr Gregsbury.
'Nothing to say on that, either, sir?' asked the spokesman.
'Nothing whatever,' replied Mr Gregsbury. The deputation, who hadonly seen him at canvassing or election time, were struck dumb by hiscoolness. He didn't appear like the same man; then he was all milk andhoney; now he was all starch and vinegar. But men ARE so different atdifferent times!
'Question number three--and last,' said Mr Pugstyles, emphatically.'Whether, sir, you did not state upon the hustings, that it was yourfirm and determined intention to oppose everything proposed; to dividethe house upon every question, to move for returns on every subject,to place a motion on the books every day, and, in short, in your ownmemorable words, to play the very devil with everything and everybody?'With this comprehensive inquiry, Mr Pugstyles folded up his list ofquestions, as did all his backers.
Mr Gregsbury reflected, blew his nose, threw himself further back inhis chair, came forward again, leaning his elbows on the table, made atriangle with his two thumbs and his two forefingers, and tapping hisnose with the apex thereof, replied (smiling as he said it), 'I denyeverything.'
At this unexpected answer, a hoarse murmur arose from the deputation;and the same gentleman who had expressed an opinion relative to thegammoning nature of the introductory speech, again made a monosyllabicdemonstration, by growling out 'Resign!' Which growl being taken up byhis fellows, swelled into a very earnest and general remonstrance.
'I am requested, sir, to express a hope,' said Mr Pugstyles, with adistant bow, 'that on receiving a requisition to that effect from agreat majority of your constituents, you will not object at once toresign your seat in favour of some candidate whom they think they canbetter trust.'
To this, Mr Gregsbury read the following reply, which, anticipating therequest, he had composed in the form of a letter, whereof copies hadbeen made to send round to the newspapers.
'MY DEAR MR PUGSTYLES,
'Next to the welfare of our beloved island--this great and free andhappy country, whose powers and resources are, I sincerely believe,illimitable--I value that noble independence which is an Englishman'sproudest boast, and which I fondly hope to bequeath to my children,untarnished and unsullied. Actuated by no personal motives, but movedonly by high and great constitutional considerations; which I will notattempt to explain, for they are really beneath the comprehension ofthose who have not made themselves masters, as I have, of the intricateand arduous study of politics; I would rather keep my seat, and intenddoing so.
'Will you do me the favour to present my compliments to the constituentbody, and acquaint them with this circumstance?
'With great esteem, 'My dear Mr Pugstyles, '&c.&c.'
'Then you will not resign, under any circumstances?' asked thespokesman.
Mr Gregsbury smiled, and shook his head.
'Then, good-morning, sir,' said Pugstyles, angrily.
'Heaven bless you!' said Mr Gregsbury. And the deputation, with manygrowls and scowls, filed off as quickly as the narrowness of thestaircase would allow of their getting down.
The last man being gone, Mr Gregsbury rubbed his hands and chuckled, asmerry fellows will, when they think they have said or done a more thancommonly good thing; he was so engrossed in this self-congratulation,that he did not observe that Nicholas had been left behind in the shadowof the window-curtains, until that young gentleman, fearing he mightotherwise overhear some soliloquy intended to have no listeners, coughedtwice or thrice, to attract the member's notice.
'What's that?' said Mr Gregsbury, in sharp accents.
Nicholas stepped forward, and bowed.
'What do you do here, sir?' asked Mr Gregsbury; 'a spy upon my privacy!A concealed voter! You have heard my answer, sir. Pray follow thedeputation.'
'I should have done so, if I had belonged to it, but I do not,' saidNicholas.
'Then how came you here, sir?' was the natural inquiry of Mr Gregsbury,MP. 'And where the devil have you come from, sir?' was the questionwhich followed it.
'I brought this card from the General Agency Office, sir,' saidNicholas, 'wishing to offer myself as your secretary, and understandingthat you stood in need of one.'
'That's all you have come for, is it?' said Mr Gregsbury, eyeing him insome doubt.
Nicholas replied in the affirmative.
'You have no connection with any of those rascally papers have you?'said Mr Gregsbury. 'You didn't get into the room, to hear what was goingforward, and put it in print, eh?'
'I have no connection, I am sorry to say, with anything at present,'rejoined Nicholas,--politely enough, but quite at his ease.
'Oh!' said Mr Gregsbury. 'How did you find your way up here, then?'
Nicholas related how he had been forced up by the deputation.
'That was the way, was it?' said Mr Gregsbury. 'Sit down.'
Nicholas took a chair, and Mr Gregsbury stared at him for a long time,as if to make certain, before he asked any further questions, that therewere no objections to his outward appearance.
'You want to be my secretary, do you?' he said at length.
'I wish to be employed in that capacity, sir,' replied Nicholas.
'Well,' said Mr Gregsbury; 'now what can you do?'
'I suppose,' replied Nicholas, smiling, 'that I can do what usuallyfalls to the lot of other secretaries.'
'What's that?' inquired Mr Gregsbury.
'What is it?' replied Nicholas.
'Ah! What is it?' retorted the member, looking shrewdly at him, with hishead on one side.
'A secretary's duties are rather difficult to define, perhaps,' saidNicholas, considering. 'They include, I presume, correspondence?'
'Good,' interposed Mr Gregsbury.
'The arrangement of papers and documents?'
'Very good.'
'Occasionally, perhaps, the writing from your dictation; and possibly,sir,' said Nicholas, with a half-smile, 'the copying of your speechfor some public journal, when you have made one of more than usualimportance.'
'Certainly,' rejoined Mr Gregsbury. 'What else?'
'Really,' said Nicholas, after a moment's reflection, 'I am not able, atthis instant, to recapitulate any other duty of a secretary, beyond thegeneral one of making himself as agreeable and useful to his employeras he can, consistently with his own respectability, and withoutoverstepping that line of duties which he undertakes to perform, andwhich the designation of his office is usually understood to imply.'
Mr Gregsbury looked fixedly at Nicholas for a short time, and thenglancing warily round the room, said in a suppressed voice:
'This is all very well, Mr--what is your name?'
'Nickleby.'
'This is all very well, Mr Nickleby, and very proper, so far as itgoes--so far as it goes, but it doesn't go far enough. There are otherduties, Mr Nickleby, which a secretary to a parliamentary gentleman mustnever lose sight of. I should require to be crammed, sir.'
'I beg your pardon,' interposed Nicholas, doubtful whether he had heardaright.
'--To be crammed, sir,' repeated Mr Gregsbury.
'May I beg your pardon again, if I inquire what you mean, sir?' saidNicholas.
'My meaning, sir, is perfectly plain,' replied Mr Gregsbury with asolemn aspect. 'My secretary would have to make himself master of theforeign policy of the world, as it is mirrored in the newspapers; to runhis eye over all accounts of public meetings, all leading articles,and accounts of the proceedings of public bodies; and to make notesof anything which it appeared to him might be made a point of, in anylittle speech upon the question of some petition lying on the table, oranything of that kind. Do you understand?'
'I think I do, sir,' replied Nicholas.
'Then,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'it would be necessary for him to makehimself acquainted, from day to day, with newspaper paragraphs onpassing events; such as "Mysterious disappearance, and supposed suicideof a potboy," or anything of that sort, upon which I might found aquestion to the Secretary of State for the Home Department. Then, hewould have to copy the question, and as much as I remembered of theanswer (including a little compliment about independence and goodsense); and to send the manuscript in a frank to the local paper, withperhaps half-a-dozen lines of leader, to the effect, that I was alwaysto be found in my place in parliament, and never shrunk from theresponsible and arduous duties, and so forth. You see?'
Nicholas bowed.
'Besides which,' continued Mr Gregsbury, 'I should expect him, now andthen, to go through a few figures in the printed tables, and to pickout a few results, so that I might come out pretty well on timber dutyquestions, and finance questions, and so on; and I should like him toget up a few little arguments about the disastrous effects of a returnto cash payments and a metallic currency, with a touch now and thenabout the exportation of bullion, and the Emperor of Russia, and banknotes, and all that kind of thing, which it's only necessary to talkfluently about, because nobody understands it. Do you take me?'
'I think I understand,' said Nicholas.
'With regard to such questions as are not political,' continued MrGregsbury, warming; 'and which one can't be expected to care a curseabout, beyond the natural care of not allowing inferior people to be aswell off as ourselves--else where are our privileges?--I should wishmy secretary to get together a few little flourishing speeches, of apatriotic cast. For instance, if any preposterous bill were broughtforward, for giving poor grubbing devils of authors a right to their ownproperty, I should like to say, that I for one would never consent toopposing an insurmountable bar to the diffusion of literature among THEPEOPLE,--you understand?--that the creations of the pocket, being man's,might belong to one man, or one family; but that the creations of thebrain, being God's, ought as a matter of course to belong to the peopleat large--and if I was pleasantly disposed, I should like to make a jokeabout posterity, and say that those who wrote for posterity should becontent to be rewarded by the approbation OF posterity; it might takewith the house, and could never do me any harm, because posterity can'tbe expected to know anything about me or my jokes either--do you see?'
'I see that, sir,' replied Nicholas.
'You must always bear in mind, in such cases as this, where ourinterests are not affected,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'to put it very strongabout the people, because it comes out very well at election-time; andyou could be as funny as you liked about the authors; because I believethe greater part of them live in lodgings, and are not voters. This isa hasty outline of the chief things you'd have to do, except waiting inthe lobby every night, in case I forgot anything, and should want freshcramming; and, now and then, during great debates, sitting in thefront row of the gallery, and saying to the people about--'You see thatgentleman, with his hand to his face, and his arm twisted round thepillar--that's Mr Gregsbury--the celebrated Mr Gregsbury,'--with anyother little eulogium that might strike you at the moment. And forsalary,' said Mr Gregsbury, winding up with great rapidity; for he wasout of breath--'and for salary, I don't mind saying at once in roundnumbers, to prevent any dissatisfaction--though it's more than I've beenaccustomed to give--fifteen shillings a week, and find yourself. There!'
With this handsome offer, Mr Gregsbury once more threw himself back inhis chair, and looked like a man who had been most profligately liberal,but is determined not to repent of it notwithstanding.
'Fifteen shillings a week is not much,' said Nicholas, mildly.
'Not much! Fifteen shillings a week not much, young man?' cried MrGregsbury. 'Fifteen shillings a--'
'Pray do not suppose that I quarrel with the sum, sir,' repliedNicholas; 'for I am not ashamed to confess, that whatever it may be initself, to me it is a great deal. But the duties and responsibilitiesmake the recompense small, and they are so very heavy that I fear toundertake them.'
'Do you decline to undertake them, sir?' inquired Mr Gregsbury, with hishand on the bell-rope.
'I fear they are too great for my powers, however good my will may be,sir,' replied Nicholas.
'That is as much as to say that you had rather not accept the place,and that you consider fifteen shillings a week too little,' said MrGregsbury, ringing. 'Do you decline it, sir?'
'I have no alternative but to do so,' replied Nicholas.
'Door, Matthews!' said Mr Gregsbury, as the boy appeared.
'I am sorry I have troubled you unnecessarily, sir,' said Nicholas.
'I am sorry you have,' rejoined Mr Gregsbury, turning his back upon him.'Door, Matthews!'
'Good-morning, sir,' said Nicholas.
'Door, Matthews!' cried Mr Gregsbury.
The boy beckoned Nicholas, and tumbling lazily downstairs before him,opened the door, and ushered him into the street. With a sad and pensiveair, he retraced his steps homewards.
Smike had scraped a meal together from the remnant of last night'ssupper, and was anxiously awaiting his return. The occurrences of themorning had not improved Nicholas's appetite, and, by him, the dinnerremained untasted. He was sitting in a thoughtful attitude, with theplate which the poor fellow had assiduously filled with the choicestmorsels, untouched, by his side, when Newman Noggs looked into the room.
'Come back?' asked Newman.
'Yes,' replied Nicholas, 'tired to death: and, what is worse, might haveremained at home for all the good I have done.'
'Couldn't expect to do much in one morning,' said Newman.
'Maybe so, but I am sanguine, and did expect,' said Nicholas, 'and amproportionately disappointed.' Saying which, he gave Newman an accountof his proceedings.
'If I could do anything,' said Nicholas, 'anything, however slight,until Ralph Nickleby returns, and I have eased my mind by confrontinghim, I should feel happier. I should think it no disgrace to work,Heaven knows. Lying indolently here, like a half-tamed sullen beast,distracts me.'
'I don't know,' said Newman; 'small things offer--they would pay therent, and more--but you wouldn't like them; no, you could hardly beexpected to undergo it--no, no.'
'What could I hardly be expected to undergo?' asked Nicholas, raisinghis eyes. 'Show me, in this wide waste of London, any honest means bywhich I could even defray the weekly hire of this poor room, and see ifI shrink from resorting to them! Undergo! I have undergone too much,my friend, to feel pride or squeamishness now. Except--' added Nicholashastily, after a short silence, 'except such squeamishness as is commonhonesty, and so much pride as constitutes self-respect. I see littleto choose, between assistant to a brutal pedagogue, and toad-eater to amean and ignorant upstart, be he member or no member.'
'I hardly know whether I should tell you what I heard this morning, ornot,' said Newman.
'Has it reference to what you said just now?' asked Nicholas.
'It has.'
'Then in Heaven's name, my good friend, tell it me,' said Nicholas. 'ForGod's sake consider my deplorable condition; and, while I promise totake no step without taking counsel with you, give me, at least, a votein my own behalf.'
Moved by this entreaty, Newman stammered forth a variety of mostunaccountable and entangled sentences, the upshot of which was, thatMrs Kenwigs had examined him, at great length that morning, touchingthe origin of his acquaintance with, and the whole life, adventures, andpedigree of, Nicholas; that Newman had parried these questions aslong as he could, but being, at length, hard pressed and driven into acorner, had gone so far as to admit, that Nicholas was a tutor ofgreat accomplishments, involved in some misfortunes which he was not atliberty to explain, and bearing the name of Johnson. That Mrs Kenwigs,impelled by gratitude, or ambition, or maternal pride, or maternal love,or all four powerful motives conjointly, had taken secret conferencewith Mr Kenwigs, and had finally returned to propose that Mr Johnsonshould instruct the four Miss Kenwigses in the French language as spokenby natives, at the weekly stipend of five shillings, current coin ofthe realm; being at the rate of one shilling per week, per each MissKenwigs, and one shilling over, until such time as the baby might beable to take it out in grammar.
'Which, unless I am very much mistaken,' observed Mrs Kenwigs in makingthe proposition, 'will not be very long; for such clever children, MrNoggs, never were born into this world, I do believe.'
'There,' said Newman, 'that's all. It's beneath you, I know; but Ithought that perhaps you might--'
'Might!' cried Nicholas, with great alacrity; 'of course I shall. Iaccept the offer at once. Tell the worthy mother so, without delay, mydear fellow; and that I am ready to begin whenever she pleases.'
Newman hastened, with joyful steps, to inform Mrs Kenwigs of hisfriend's acquiescence, and soon returning, brought back word that theywould be happy to see him in the first floor as soon as convenient;that Mrs Kenwigs had, upon the instant, sent out to secure a second-handFrench grammar and dialogues, which had long been fluttering in thesixpenny box at the bookstall round the corner; and that the family,highly excited at the prospect of this addition to their gentility,wished the initiatory lesson to come off immediately.
And here it may be observed, that Nicholas was not, in the ordinarysense of the word, a young man of high spirit. He would resent anaffront to himself, or interpose to redress a wrong offered to another,as boldly and freely as any knight that ever set lance in rest; but helacked that peculiar excess of coolness and great-minded selfishness,which invariably distinguish gentlemen of high spirit. In truth, for ourown part, we are disposed to look upon such gentleman as being ratherincumbrances than otherwise in rising families: happening to beacquainted with several whose spirit prevents their settling down toany grovelling occupation, and only displays itself in a tendency tocultivate moustachios, and look fierce; and although moustachios andferocity are both very pretty things in their way, and very much to becommended, we confess to a desire to see them bred at the owner's propercost, rather than at the expense of low-spirited people.
Nicholas, therefore, not being a high-spirited young man according tocommon parlance, and deeming it a greater degradation to borrow, for thesupply of his necessities, from Newman Noggs, than to teach French tothe little Kenwigses for five shillings a week, accepted the offer withthe alacrity already described, and betook himself to the first floorwith all convenient speed.
Here, he was received by Mrs Kenwigs with a genteel air, kindly intendedto assure him of her protection and support; and here, too, he found MrLillyvick and Miss Petowker; the four Miss Kenwigses on their form ofaudience; and the baby in a dwarf porter's chair with a deal tray beforeit, amusing himself with a toy horse without a head; the said horsebeing composed of a small wooden cylinder, not unlike an Italian iron,supported on four crooked pegs, and painted in ingenious resemblance ofred wafers set in blacking.
'How do you do, Mr Johnson?' said Mrs Kenwigs. 'Uncle--Mr Johnson.'
'How do you do, sir?' said Mr Lillyvick--rather sharply; for he had notknown what Nicholas was, on the previous night, and it was rather anaggravating circumstance if a tax collector had been too polite to ateacher.
'Mr Johnson is engaged as private master to the children, uncle,' saidMrs Kenwigs.
'So you said just now, my dear,' replied Mr Lillyvick.
'But I hope,' said Mrs Kenwigs, drawing herself up, 'that that will notmake them proud; but that they will bless their own good fortune,which has born them superior to common people's children. Do you hear,Morleena?'
'Yes, ma,' replied Miss Kenwigs.
'And when you go out in the streets, or elsewhere, I desire that youdon't boast of it to the other children,' said Mrs Kenwigs; 'and that ifyou must say anything about it, you don't say no more than "We've got aprivate master comes to teach us at home, but we ain't proud, because masays it's sinful." Do you hear, Morleena?'
'Yes, ma,' replied Miss Kenwigs again.
'Then mind you recollect, and do as I tell you,' said Mrs Kenwigs.'Shall Mr Johnson begin, uncle?'
'I am ready to hear, if Mr Johnson is ready to commence, my dear,' saidthe collector, assuming the air of a profound critic. 'What sort oflanguage do you consider French, sir?'
'How do you mean?' asked Nicholas.
'Do you consider it a good language, sir?' said the collector; 'a prettylanguage, a sensible language?'
'A pretty language, certainly,' replied Nicholas; 'and as it has a namefor everything, and admits of elegant conversation about everything, Ipresume it is a sensible one.'
'I don't know,' said Mr Lillyvick, doubtfully. 'Do you call it acheerful language, now?'
'Yes,' replied Nicholas, 'I should say it was, certainly.'
'It's very much changed since my time, then,' said the collector, 'verymuch.'
'Was it a dismal one in your time?' asked Nicholas, scarcely able torepress a smile.
'Very,' replied Mr Lillyvick, with some vehemence of manner. 'It's thewar time that I speak of; the last war. It may be a cheerful language.I should be sorry to contradict anybody; but I can only say that I'veheard the French prisoners, who were natives, and ought to know how tospeak it, talking in such a dismal manner, that it made one miserable tohear them. Ay, that I have, fifty times, sir--fifty times!'
Mr Lillyvick was waxing so cross, that Mrs Kenwigs thought it expedientto motion to Nicholas not to say anything; and it was not until MissPetowker had practised several blandishments, to soften the excellentold gentleman, that he deigned to break silence by asking,
'What's the water in French, sir?'
'L'EAU,' replied Nicholas.
'Ah!' said Mr Lillyvick, shaking his head mournfully, 'I thought asmuch. Lo, eh? I don't think anything of that language--nothing at all.'
'I suppose the children may begin, uncle?' said Mrs Kenwigs.
'Oh yes; they may begin, my dear,' replied the collector,discontentedly. 'I have no wish to prevent them.'
This permission being conceded, the four Miss Kenwigses sat in a row,with their tails all one way, and Morleena at the top: while Nicholas,taking the book, began his preliminary explanations. Miss Petowkerand Mrs Kenwigs looked on, in silent admiration, broken only by thewhispered assurances of the latter, that Morleena would have it all byheart in no time; and Mr Lillyvick regarded the group with frowning andattentive eyes, lying in wait for something upon which he could open afresh discussion on the language.