Chapter 12 - Alice's Evidence
`Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of themoment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and shejumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box withthe edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the headsof the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, remindingher very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upsetthe week before.
`Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of greatdismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could,for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, andshe had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at onceand put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
`The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very gravevoice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice ashe said do.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, shehad put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thingwas waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unableto move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not thatit signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think itwould be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock ofbeing upset, and their slates and pencils had been found andhanded back to them, they set to work very diligently to writeout a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemedtoo much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,gazing up into the roof of the court.
`What do you know about this business?' the King said toAlice.
`Nothing,' said Alice.
`Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, whenthe White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means,of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning andmaking faces at him as he spoke.
`UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, andwent on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which wordsounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough tolook over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' shethought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busilywriting in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read outfrom his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILEHIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'
Everybody looked at Alice.
`I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.
`You are,' said the King.
`Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.
`Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides,that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'
`It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
`Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, tremblingvoice.
`There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' saidthe White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper hasjust been picked up.'
`What's in it?' said the Queen.
`I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seemsto be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'
`It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it waswritten to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'
`Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
`It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paperas he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a setof verses.'
`Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another ofthey jurymen.
`No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's thequeerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
`He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.(The jury all brightened up again.)
`Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, andthey can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'
`If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes thematter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'dhave signed your name like an honest man.'
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was thefirst really clever thing the King had said that day.
`That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
`It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don'teven know what they're about!'
`Read them,' said the King.
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin,please your Majesty?' he asked.
`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go ontill you come to the end: then stop.'
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
He sent them word I had not gone
I gave her one, they gave him two,
If I or she should chance to be
My notion was that you had been
Don't let him know she liked them best,
`If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she hadgrown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bitafraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don'tbelieve there's an atom of meaning in it.'
The jury all wrote down on their slates, `
`If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves aworld of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. Andyet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on hisknee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see somemeaning in them, after all. "--
The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said.(Which he certainly did
`All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on mutteringover the verses to himself: `"
`But, it goes on "
`Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing tothe tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than
`Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at theLizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left offwriting on his slate with one finger, as he found it made nomark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that wastrickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
`Then the words don't
`It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, andeverybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' theKing said, for about the twentieth time that day.
`No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'
`Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of havingthe sentence first!'
`Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
`I won't!' said Alice.
`Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.Nobody moved.
`Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her fullsize by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flyingdown upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and halfof anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying onthe bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gentlybrushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from thetrees upon her face.
`Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a longsleep you've had!'
`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she toldher sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strangeAdventures of hers that you have just been reading about; andwhen she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS acurious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it'sgetting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while sheran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning herhead on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking oflittle Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too begandreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again thetiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyeswere looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of hervoice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep backthe wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--andstill as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole placearound her became alive the strange creatures of her littlesister's dream.
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurriedby--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through theneighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups asthe March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunateguests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on theDuchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--oncemore the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard'sslate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserableMock Turtle.
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself inWonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, andall would change to dull reality--the grass would be onlyrustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of thereeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherdboy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, andall thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to theconfused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of thecattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle'sheavy sobs.
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister ofhers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and howshe would keep, through all her riper years, the simple andloving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather abouther other little children, and make