Hello,Welcome!Log In to My AccountorCreate Account

'I wonder what the foreman of the jury, whoever he'll be, has got forbreakfast,' said Mr. Snodgrass, by way of keeping up a conversation onthe eventful morning of the fourteenth of February.

'Ah!' said Perker, 'I hope he's got a good one.' 'Why so?' inquired Mr.Pickwick.

'Highly important--very important, my dear Sir,' replied Perker. 'Agood, contented, well-breakfasted juryman is a capital thing to get holdof. Discontented or hungry jurymen, my dear sir, always find for theplaintiff.'

'Bless my heart,' said Mr. Pickwick, looking very blank, 'what do theydo that for?'

'Why, I don't know,' replied the little man coolly; 'saves time, Isuppose. If it's near dinner-time, the foreman takes out his watch whenthe jury has retired, and says, "Dear me, gentlemen, ten minutes tofive, I declare! I dine at five, gentlemen." "So do I," says everybodyelse, except two men who ought to have dined at three and seem more thanhalf disposed to stand out in consequence. The foreman smiles, and putsup his watch:--"Well, gentlemen, what do we say, plaintiff or defendant,gentlemen? I rather think, so far as I am concerned, gentlemen,--I say,I rather think--but don't let that influence you--I RATHER think theplaintiff's the man." Upon this, two or three other men are sure to saythat they think so too--as of course they do; and then they get on veryunanimously and comfortably. Ten minutes past nine!' said the littleman, looking at his watch.'Time we were off, my dear sir; breach ofpromise trial-court is generally full in such cases. You had better ringfor a coach, my dear sir, or we shall be rather late.'

Mr. Pickwick immediately rang the bell, and a coach having beenprocured, the four Pickwickians and Mr. Perker ensconced themselvestherein, and drove to Guildhall; Sam Weller, Mr. Lowten, and the bluebag, following in a cab.

'Lowten,' said Perker, when they reached the outer hall of the court,'put Mr. Pickwick's friends in the students' box; Mr. Pickwick himselfhad better sit by me. This way, my dear sir, this way.' Taking Mr.Pickwick by the coat sleeve, the little man led him to the low seat justbeneath the desks of the King's Counsel, which is constructed for theconvenience of attorneys, who from that spot can whisper into the ear ofthe leading counsel in the case, any instructions that may be necessaryduring the progress of the trial. The occupants of this seat areinvisible to the great body of spectators, inasmuch as they sit on amuch lower level than either the barristers or the audience, whose seatsare raised above the floor. Of course they have their backs to both, andtheir faces towards the judge.

'That's the witness-box, I suppose?' said Mr. Pickwick, pointing to akind of pulpit, with a brass rail, on his left hand.

'That's the witness-box, my dear sir,' replied Perker, disinterring aquantity of papers from the blue bag, which Lowten had just deposited athis feet.

'And that,' said Mr. Pickwick, pointing to a couple of enclosed seats onhis right, 'that's where the jurymen sit, is it not?'

'The identical place, my dear Sir,' replied Perker, tapping the lid ofhis snuff-box.

Mr. Pickwick stood up in a state of great agitation, and took a glanceat the court. There were already a pretty large sprinkling of spectatorsin the gallery, and a numerous muster of gentlemen in wigs, in thebarristers' seats, who presented, as a body, all that pleasing andextensive variety of nose and whisker for which the Bar of England isso justly celebrated. Such of the gentlemen as had a brief to carry,carried it in as conspicuous a manner as possible, and occasionallyscratched their noses therewith, to impress the fact more strongly onthe observation of the spectators. Other gentlemen, who had no briefs toshow, carried under their arms goodly octavos, with a red label behind,and that under-done-pie-crust-coloured cover, which is technically knownas 'law calf.' Others, who had neither briefs nor books, thrust theirhands into their pockets, and looked as wise as they convenientlycould; others, again, moved here and there with great restlessness andearnestness of manner, content to awaken thereby the admiration andastonishment of the uninitiated strangers. The whole, to the greatwonderment of Mr. Pickwick, were divided into little groups, who werechatting and discussing the news of the day in the most unfeeling mannerpossible--just as if no trial at all were coming on.

A bow from Mr. Phunky, as he entered, and took his seat behind the rowappropriated to the King's Counsel, attracted Mr. Pickwick's attention;and he had scarcely returned it, when Mr. Serjeant Snubbin appeared,followed by Mr. Mallard, who half hid the Serjeant behind a largecrimson bag, which he placed on his table, and, after shaking hands withPerker, withdrew. Then there entered two or three more Serjeants; andamong them, one with a fat body and a red face, who nodded in a friendlymanner to Mr. Serjeant Snubbin, and said it was a fine morning.

'Who's that red-faced man, who said it was a fine morning, and nodded toour counsel?' whispered Mr. Pickwick.

'Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz,' replied Perker. 'He's opposed to us; he leads onthe other side. That gentleman behind him is Mr. Skimpin, his junior.'

Mr. Pickwick was on the point of inquiring, with great abhorrence of theman's cold-blooded villainy, how Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz, who was counselfor the opposite party, dared to presume to tell Mr. Serjeant Snubbin,who was counsel for him, that it was a fine morning, when he wasinterrupted by a general rising of the barristers, and a loud cry of'Silence!' from the officers of the court. Looking round, he found thatthis was caused by the entrance of the judge.

Mr. Justice Stareleigh (who sat in the absence of the Chief Justice,occasioned by indisposition) was a most particularly short man, andso fat, that he seemed all face and waistcoat. He rolled in, upon twolittle turned legs, and having bobbed gravely to the Bar, who bobbedgravely to him, put his little legs underneath his table, and his littlethree-cornered hat upon it; and when Mr. Justice Stareleigh had donethis, all you could see of him was two queer little eyes, one broad pinkface, and somewhere about half of a big and very comical-looking wig.

The judge had no sooner taken his seat, than the officer on the floor ofthe court called out 'Silence!' in a commanding tone, upon which anotherofficer in the gallery cried 'Silence!' in an angry manner, whereuponthree or four more ushers shouted 'Silence!' in a voice of indignantremonstrance. This being done, a gentleman in black, who sat below thejudge, proceeded to call over the names of the jury; and after a greatdeal of bawling, it was discovered that only ten special jurymen werepresent. Upon this, Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz prayed a TALES; the gentleman inblack then proceeded to press into the special jury, two of the commonjurymen; and a greengrocer and a chemist were caught directly.

'Answer to your names, gentlemen, that you may be sworn,' said thegentleman in black. 'Richard Upwitch.'

'Here,' said the greengrocer.

'Thomas Groffin.'

'Here,' said the chemist.

'Take the book, gentlemen. You shall well and truly try--'

'I beg this court's pardon,' said the chemist, who was a tall, thin,yellow-visaged man, 'but I hope this court will excuse my attendance.'

'On what grounds, Sir?' said Mr. Justice Stareleigh.

'I have no assistant, my Lord,' said the chemist.

'I can't help that, Sir,' replied Mr. Justice Stareleigh. 'You shouldhire one.'

'I can't afford it, my Lord,' rejoined the chemist.

'Then you ought to be able to afford it, Sir,' said the judge,reddening; for Mr. Justice Stareleigh's temper bordered on theirritable, and brooked not contradiction.

'I know I OUGHT to do, if I got on as well as I deserved; but I don't,my Lord,' answered the chemist.

'Swear the gentleman,' said the judge peremptorily.

The officer had got no further than the 'You shall well and truly try,'when he was again interrupted by the chemist.

'I am to be sworn, my Lord, am I?' said the chemist.

'Certainly, sir,' replied the testy little judge.

'Very well, my Lord,' replied the chemist, in a resigned manner. 'Thenthere'll be murder before this trial's over; that's all. Swear me, ifyou please, Sir;' and sworn the chemist was, before the judge could findwords to utter.

'I merely wanted to observe, my Lord,' said the chemist, taking his seatwith great deliberation, 'that I've left nobody but an errand-boy inmy shop. He is a very nice boy, my Lord, but he is not acquainted withdrugs; and I know that the prevailing impression on his mind is, thatEpsom salts means oxalic acid; and syrup of senna, laudanum. That'sall, my Lord.' With this, the tall chemist composed himself intoa comfortable attitude, and, assuming a pleasant expression ofcountenance, appeared to have prepared himself for the worst.

Mr. Pickwick was regarding the chemist with feelings of the deepesthorror, when a slight sensation was perceptible in the body of thecourt; and immediately afterwards Mrs. Bardell, supported by Mrs.Cluppins, was led in, and placed, in a drooping state, at the other endof the seat on which Mr. Pickwick sat. An extra-sized umbrella was thenhanded in by Mr. Dodson, and a pair of pattens by Mr. Fogg, each of whomhad prepared a most sympathising and melancholy face for the occasion.Mrs. Sanders then appeared, leading in Master Bardell. At sight of herchild, Mrs. Bardell started; suddenly recollecting herself, she kissedhim in a frantic manner; then relapsing into a state of hystericalimbecility, the good lady requested to be informed where she was. Inreply to this, Mrs. Cluppins and Mrs. Sanders turned their heads awayand wept, while Messrs. Dodson and Fogg entreated the plaintiff tocompose herself. Serjeant Buzfuz rubbed his eyes very hard with a largewhite handkerchief, and gave an appealing look towards the jury, whilethe judge was visibly affected, and several of the beholders tried tocough down their emotion.

'Very good notion that indeed,' whispered Perker to Mr. Pickwick.'Capital fellows those Dodson and Fogg; excellent ideas of effect, mydear Sir, excellent.'

As Perker spoke, Mrs. Bardell began to recover by slow degrees, whileMrs. Cluppins, after a careful survey of Master Bardell's buttons andthe button-holes to which they severally belonged, placed him on thefloor of the court in front of his mother--a commanding position inwhich he could not fail to awaken the full commiseration and sympathy ofboth judge and jury. This was not done without considerable opposition,and many tears, on the part of the young gentleman himself, who hadcertain inward misgivings that the placing him within the full glareof the judge's eye was only a formal prelude to his being immediatelyordered away for instant execution, or for transportation beyond theseas, during the whole term of his natural life, at the very least.

'Bardell and Pickwick,' cried the gentleman in black, calling on thecase, which stood first on the list.

'I am for the plaintiff, my Lord,' said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz.

'Who is with you, Brother Buzfuz?' said the judge. Mr. Skimpin bowed, tointimate that he was.

'I appear for the defendant, my Lord,' said Mr. Serjeant Snubbin.

'Anybody with you, Brother Snubbin?' inquired the court.

'Mr. Phunky, my Lord,' replied Serjeant Snubbin.

'Serjeant Buzfuz and Mr. Skimpin for the plaintiff,' said the judge,writing down the names in his note-book, and reading as he wrote; 'forthe defendant, Serjeant Snubbin and Mr. Monkey.'

'Beg your Lordship's pardon, Phunky.'

'Oh, very good,' said the judge; 'I never had the pleasure of hearingthe gentleman's name before.' Here Mr. Phunky bowed and smiled, and thejudge bowed and smiled too, and then Mr. Phunky, blushing into the verywhites of his eyes, tried to look as if he didn't know that everybodywas gazing at him, a thing which no man ever succeeded in doing yet, orin all reasonable probability, ever will.

'Go on,' said the judge.

The ushers again called silence, and Mr. Skimpin proceeded to 'open thecase'; and the case appeared to have very little inside it when hehad opened it, for he kept such particulars as he knew, completely tohimself, and sat down, after a lapse of three minutes, leaving the juryin precisely the same advanced stage of wisdom as they were in before.

Serjeant Buzfuz then rose with all the majesty and dignity which thegrave nature of the proceedings demanded, and having whispered toDodson, and conferred briefly with Fogg, pulled his gown over hisshoulders, settled his wig, and addressed the jury.

Serjeant Buzfuz began by saying, that never, in the whole course ofhis professional experience--never, from the very first moment of hisapplying himself to the study and practice of the law--had he approacheda case with feelings of such deep emotion, or with such a heavy senseof the responsibility imposed upon him--a responsibility, he would say,which he could never have supported, were he not buoyed up and sustainedby a conviction so strong, that it amounted to positive certainty thatthe cause of truth and justice, or, in other words, the cause ofhis much-injured and most oppressed client, must prevail with thehigh-minded and intelligent dozen of men whom he now saw in that boxbefore him.

Counsel usually begin in this way, because it puts the jury on the verybest terms with themselves, and makes them think what sharp fellowsthey must be. A visible effect was produced immediately, several jurymenbeginning to take voluminous notes with the utmost eagerness.

'You have heard from my learned friend, gentlemen,' continued SerjeantBuzfuz, well knowing that, from the learned friend alluded to, thegentlemen of the jury had heard just nothing at all--'you have heardfrom my learned friend, gentlemen, that this is an action for a breachof promise of marriage, in which the damages are laid at #1,500. Butyou have not heard from my learned friend, inasmuch as it did not comewithin my learned friend's province to tell you, what are the facts andcircumstances of the case. Those facts and circumstances, gentlemen, youshall hear detailed by me, and proved by the unimpeachable female whom Iwill place in that box before you.'

Here, Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz, with a tremendous emphasis on the word 'box,'smote his table with a mighty sound, and glanced at Dodson and Fogg,who nodded admiration of the Serjeant, and indignant defiance of thedefendant.

'The plaintiff, gentlemen,' continued Serjeant Buzfuz, in a soft andmelancholy voice, 'the plaintiff is a widow; yes, gentlemen, a widow.The late Mr. Bardell, after enjoying, for many years, the esteem andconfidence of his sovereign, as one of the guardians of his royalrevenues, glided almost imperceptibly from the world, to seek elsewherefor that repose and peace which a custom-house can never afford.' Atthis pathetic description of the decease of Mr. Bardell, who had beenknocked on the head with a quart-pot in a public-house cellar, thelearned serjeant's voice faltered, and he proceeded, with emotion--

'Some time before his death, he had stamped his likeness upon a littleboy. With this little boy, the only pledge of her departed exciseman,Mrs. Bardell shrank from the world, and courted the retirement andtranquillity of Goswell Street; and here she placed in her frontparlour window a written placard, bearing this inscription--"Apartmentsfurnished for a single gentleman. Inquire within."' Here Serjeant Buzfuzpaused, while several gentlemen of the jury took a note of the document.

'There is no date to that, is there?' inquired a juror. 'There is nodate, gentlemen,' replied Serjeant Buzfuz; 'but I am instructed to saythat it was put in the plaintiff's parlour window just this time threeyears. I entreat the attention of the jury to the wording of thisdocument--"Apartments furnished for a single gentleman"! Mrs. Bardell'sopinions of the opposite sex, gentlemen, were derived from a longcontemplation of the inestimable qualities of her lost husband. She hadno fear, she had no distrust, she had no suspicion; all was confidenceand reliance. "Mr. Bardell," said the widow--"Mr. Bardell was a man ofhonour, Mr. Bardell was a man of his word, Mr. Bardell was no deceiver,Mr. Bardell was once a single gentleman himself; to single gentlemen Ilook for protection, for assistance, for comfort, and for consolation;in single gentlemen I shall perpetually see something to remind me ofwhat Mr. Bardell was when he first won my young and untried affections;to a single gentleman, then, shall my lodgings be let." Actuated by thisbeautiful and touching impulse (among the best impulses of our imperfectnature, gentlemen), the lonely and desolate widow dried her tears,furnished her first floor, caught her innocent boy to her maternalbosom, and put the bill up in her parlour window. Did it remain therelong? No. The serpent was on the watch, the train was laid, the mine waspreparing, the sapper and miner was at work. Before the bill had beenin the parlour window three days--three days, gentlemen--a being, erectupon two legs, and bearing all the outward semblance of a man, and notof a monster, knocked at the door of Mrs. Bardell's house. He inquiredwithin--he took the lodgings; and on the very next day he entered intopossession of them. This man was Pickwick--Pickwick, the defendant.'

Serjeant Buzfuz, who had proceeded with such volubility that his facewas perfectly crimson, here paused for breath. The silence awoke Mr.Justice Stareleigh, who immediately wrote down something with a penwithout any ink in it, and looked unusually profound, to impress thejury with the belief that he always thought most deeply with his eyesshut. Serjeant Buzfuz proceeded--

'Of this man Pickwick I will say little; the subject presents but fewattractions; and I, gentlemen, am not the man, nor are you, gentlemen,the men, to delight in the contemplation of revolting heartlessness, andof systematic villainy.'

Here Mr. Pickwick, who had been writhing in silence for some time, gavea violent start, as if some vague idea of assaulting Serjeant Buzfuz, inthe august presence of justice and law, suggested itself to his mind.An admonitory gesture from Perker restrained him, and he listened tothe learned gentleman's continuation with a look of indignation, whichcontrasted forcibly with the admiring faces of Mrs. Cluppins and Mrs.Sanders.

'I say systematic villainy, gentlemen,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, lookingthrough Mr. Pickwick, and talking AT him; 'and when I say systematicvillainy, let me tell the defendant Pickwick, if he be in court, as Iam informed he is, that it would have been more decent in him, morebecoming, in better judgment, and in better taste, if he had stoppedaway. Let me tell him, gentlemen, that any gestures of dissent ordisapprobation in which he may indulge in this court will not go downwith you; that you will know how to value and how to appreciate them;and let me tell him further, as my Lord will tell you, gentlemen, thata counsel, in the discharge of his duty to his client, is neither to beintimidated nor bullied, nor put down; and that any attempt to do eitherthe one or the other, or the first, or the last, will recoil on thehead of the attempter, be he plaintiff or be he defendant, be his namePickwick, or Noakes, or Stoakes, or Stiles, or Brown, or Thompson.'

This little divergence from the subject in hand, had, of course, theintended effect of turning all eyes to Mr. Pickwick. Serjeant Buzfuz,having partially recovered from the state of moral elevation into whichhe had lashed himself, resumed--

'I shall show you, gentlemen, that for two years, Pickwick continuedto reside constantly, and without interruption or intermission, at Mrs.Bardell's house. I shall show you that Mrs. Bardell, during the wholeof that time, waited on him, attended to his comforts, cooked his meals,looked out his linen for the washerwoman when it went abroad, darned,aired, and prepared it for wear, when it came home, and, in short,enjoyed his fullest trust and confidence. I shall show you that, on manyoccasions, he gave halfpence, and on some occasions even sixpences, toher little boy; and I shall prove to you, by a witness whose testimonyit will be impossible for my learned friend to weaken or controvert,that on one occasion he patted the boy on the head, and, after inquiringwhether he had won any "ALLEY TORS" or "COMMONEYS" lately (both of whichI understand to be a particular species of marbles much prized by theyouth of this town), made use of this remarkable expression, "How shouldyou like to have another father?" I shall prove to you, gentlemen, thatabout a year ago, Pickwick suddenly began to absent himself from home,during long intervals, as if with the intention of gradually breakingoff from my client; but I shall show you also, that his resolutionwas not at that time sufficiently strong, or that his betterfeelings conquered, if better feelings he has, or that the charms andaccomplishments of my client prevailed against his unmanly intentions,by proving to you, that on one occasion, when he returned from thecountry, he distinctly and in terms, offered her marriage: previously,however, taking special care that there would be no witness to theirsolemn contract; and I am in a situation to prove to you, on thetestimony of three of his own friends--most unwilling witnesses,gentlemen--most unwilling witnesses--that on that morning he wasdiscovered by them holding the plaintiff in his arms, and soothing heragitation by his caresses and endearments.'

A visible impression was produced upon the auditors by this part ofthe learned Serjeant's address. Drawing forth two very small scraps ofpaper, he proceeded--'And now, gentlemen, but one word more. Two lettershave passed between these parties, letters which are admitted to be inthe handwriting of the defendant, and which speak volumes, indeed.The letters, too, bespeak the character of the man. They are not open,fervent, eloquent epistles, breathing nothing but the languageof affectionate attachment. They are covert, sly, underhandedcommunications, but, fortunately, far more conclusive than if couched inthe most glowing language and the most poetic imagery--letters thatmust be viewed with a cautious and suspicious eye--letters that wereevidently intended at the time, by Pickwick, to mislead and delude anythird parties into whose hands they might fall. Let me read the first:"Garraways, twelve o'clock. Dear Mrs. B.--Chops and tomato sauce. Yours,PICKWICK." Gentlemen, what does this mean? Chops and tomato sauce.Yours, Pickwick! Chops! Gracious heavens! and tomato sauce! Gentlemen,is the happiness of a sensitive and confiding female to be trifled away,by such shallow artifices as these? The next has no date whatever, whichis in itself suspicious. "Dear Mrs. B., I shall not be at hometill to-morrow. Slow coach." And then follows this very remarkableexpression. "Don't trouble yourself about the warming-pan." Thewarming-pan! Why, gentlemen, who DOES trouble himself about awarming-pan? When was the peace of mind of man or woman broken ordisturbed by a warming-pan, which is in itself a harmless, a useful, andI will add, gentlemen, a comforting article of domestic furniture? Whyis Mrs. Bardell so earnestly entreated not to agitate herself about thiswarming-pan, unless (as is no doubt the case) it is a mere cover forhidden fire--a mere substitute for some endearing word or promise,agreeably to a preconcerted system of correspondence, artfully contrivedby Pickwick with a view to his contemplated desertion, and which I amnot in a condition to explain? And what does this allusion to the slowcoach mean? For aught I know, it may be a reference to Pickwick himself,who has most unquestionably been a criminally slow coach during thewhole of this transaction, but whose speed will now be very unexpectedlyaccelerated, and whose wheels, gentlemen, as he will find to his cost,will very soon be greased by you!'

Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz paused in this place, to see whether the jurysmiled at his joke; but as nobody took it but the greengrocer, whosesensitiveness on the subject was very probably occasioned by his havingsubjected a chaise-cart to the process in question on that identicalmorning, the learned Serjeant considered it advisable to undergo aslight relapse into the dismals before he concluded.

'But enough of this, gentlemen,' said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz, 'it isdifficult to smile with an aching heart; it is ill jesting when ourdeepest sympathies are awakened. My client's hopes and prospects areruined, and it is no figure of speech to say that her occupation isgone indeed. The bill is down--but there is no tenant. Eligible singlegentlemen pass and repass-but there is no invitation for to inquirewithin or without. All is gloom and silence in the house; even thevoice of the child is hushed; his infant sports are disregarded when hismother weeps; his "alley tors" and his "commoneys" are alike neglected;he forgets the long familiar cry of "knuckle down," and at tip-cheese,or odd and even, his hand is out. But Pickwick, gentlemen, Pickwick,the ruthless destroyer of this domestic oasis in the desert of GoswellStreet--Pickwick who has choked up the well, and thrown ashes on thesward--Pickwick, who comes before you to-day with his heartless tomatosauce and warming-pans--Pickwick still rears his head with unblushingeffrontery, and gazes without a sigh on the ruin he has made. Damages,gentlemen--heavy damages is the only punishment with which you canvisit him; the only recompense you can award to my client. And forthose damages she now appeals to an enlightened, a high-minded, aright-feeling, a conscientious, a dispassionate, a sympathising, acontemplative jury of her civilised countrymen.' With this beautifulperoration, Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz sat down, and Mr. Justice Stareleighwoke up.

'Call Elizabeth Cluppins,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, rising a minuteafterwards, with renewed vigour.

The nearest usher called for Elizabeth Tuppins; another one, at alittle distance off, demanded Elizabeth Jupkins; and a third rushed ina breathless state into King Street, and screamed for Elizabeth Muffinstill he was hoarse.

Meanwhile Mrs. Cluppins, with the combined assistance of Mrs.Bardell, Mrs. Sanders, Mr. Dodson, and Mr. Fogg, was hoisted into thewitness-box; and when she was safely perched on the top step, Mrs.Bardell stood on the bottom one, with the pocket-handkerchief andpattens in one hand, and a glass bottle that might hold about a quarterof a pint of smelling-salts in the other, ready for any emergency. Mrs.Sanders, whose eyes were intently fixed on the judge's face, plantedherself close by, with the large umbrella, keeping her right thumbpressed on the spring with an earnest countenance, as if she were fullyprepared to put it up at a moment's notice.

'Mrs. Cluppins,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, 'pray compose yourself, ma'am.'Of course, directly Mrs. Cluppins was desired to compose herself, shesobbed with increased vehemence, and gave divers alarming manifestationsof an approaching fainting fit, or, as she afterwards said, of herfeelings being too many for her.

'Do you recollect, Mrs. Cluppins,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, after a fewunimportant questions--'do you recollect being in Mrs. Bardell's backone pair of stairs, on one particular morning in July last, when she wasdusting Pickwick's apartment?'

'Yes, my Lord and jury, I do,' replied Mrs. Cluppins.

'Mr. Pickwick's sitting-room was the first-floor front, I believe?'

'Yes, it were, Sir,' replied Mrs. Cluppins.

'What were you doing in the back room, ma'am?' inquired the littlejudge.

'My Lord and jury,' said Mrs. Cluppins, with interesting agitation, 'Iwill not deceive you.'

'You had better not, ma'am,' said the little judge.

'I was there,' resumed Mrs. Cluppins, 'unbeknown to Mrs. Bardell; Ihad been out with a little basket, gentlemen, to buy three pound of redkidney pertaties, which was three pound tuppence ha'penny, when I seeMrs. Bardell's street door on the jar.'

'On the what?' exclaimed the little judge.

'Partly open, my Lord,' said Serjeant Snubbin.

'She said on the jar,' said the little judge, with a cunning look.

'It's all the same, my Lord,' said Serjeant Snubbin. The little judgelooked doubtful, and said he'd make a note of it. Mrs. Cluppins thenresumed--

'I walked in, gentlemen, just to say good-mornin', and went, in apermiscuous manner, upstairs, and into the back room. Gentlemen, therewas the sound of voices in the front room, and--'

'And you listened, I believe, Mrs. Cluppins?' said Serjeant Buzfuz.

'Beggin' your pardon, Sir,' replied Mrs. Cluppins, in a majestic manner,'I would scorn the haction. The voices was very loud, Sir, and forcedthemselves upon my ear.'

'Well, Mrs. Cluppins, you were not listening, but you heard the voices.Was one of those voices Pickwick's?'

'Yes, it were, Sir.' And Mrs. Cluppins, after distinctly statingthat Mr. Pickwick addressed himself to Mrs. Bardell, repeated by slowdegrees, and by dint of many questions, the conversation with which ourreaders are already acquainted.

The jury looked suspicious, and Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz smiled as he satdown. They looked positively awful when Serjeant Snubbin intimated thathe should not cross-examine the witness, for Mr. Pickwick wished it tobe distinctly stated that it was due to her to say, that her account wasin substance correct.

Mrs. Cluppins having once broken the ice, thought it a favourableopportunity for entering into a short dissertation on her own domesticaffairs; so she straightway proceeded to inform the court that she wasthe mother of eight children at that present speaking, and that sheentertained confident expectations of presenting Mr. Cluppins with aninth, somewhere about that day six months. At this interesting point,the little judge interposed most irascibly; and the effect of theinterposition was, that both the worthy lady and Mrs. Sanders werepolitely taken out of court, under the escort of Mr. Jackson, withoutfurther parley.

'Nathaniel Winkle!' said Mr. Skimpin.

'Here!' replied a feeble voice. Mr. Winkle entered the witness-box, andhaving been duly sworn, bowed to the judge with considerable deference.

'Don't look at me, Sir,' said the judge sharply, in acknowledgment ofthe salute; 'look at the jury.'

Mr. Winkle obeyed the mandate, and looked at the place where he thoughtit most probable the jury might be; for seeing anything in his thenstate of intellectual complication was wholly out of the question.

Mr. Winkle was then examined by Mr. Skimpin, who, being a promisingyoung man of two or three-and-forty, was of course anxious to confuse awitness who was notoriously predisposed in favour of the other side, asmuch as he could.

'Now, Sir,' said Mr. Skimpin, 'have the goodness to let his Lordshipknow what your name is, will you?' and Mr. Skimpin inclined his head onone side to listen with great sharpness to the answer, and glanced atthe jury meanwhile, as if to imply that he rather expected Mr. Winkle'snatural taste for perjury would induce him to give some name which didnot belong to him.

'Winkle,' replied the witness.

'What's your Christian name, Sir?' angrily inquired the little judge.

'Nathaniel, Sir.'

'Daniel--any other name?'

'Nathaniel, sir--my Lord, I mean.'

'Nathaniel Daniel, or Daniel Nathaniel?'

'No, my Lord, only Nathaniel--not Daniel at all.'

'What did you tell me it was Daniel for, then, sir?' inquired the judge.

'I didn't, my Lord,' replied Mr. Winkle.

'You did, Sir,' replied the judge, with a severe frown. 'How could Ihave got Daniel on my notes, unless you told me so, Sir?' This argumentwas, of course, unanswerable.

'Mr. Winkle has rather a short memory, my Lord,' interposed Mr. Skimpin,with another glance at the jury. 'We shall find means to refresh itbefore we have quite done with him, I dare say.'

'You had better be careful, Sir,' said the little judge, with a sinisterlook at the witness.

Poor Mr. Winkle bowed, and endeavoured to feign an easiness of manner,which, in his then state of confusion, gave him rather the air of adisconcerted pickpocket.

'Now, Mr. Winkle,' said Mr. Skimpin, 'attend to me, if you please,Sir; and let me recommend you, for your own sake, to bear in mind hisLordship's injunctions to be careful. I believe you are a particularfriend of Mr. Pickwick, the defendant, are you not?'

'I have known Mr. Pickwick now, as well as I recollect at this moment,nearly--'

'Pray, Mr. Winkle, do not evade the question. Are you, or are you not, aparticular friend of the defendant's?'

'I was just about to say, that--'

'Will you, or will you not, answer my question, Sir?' 'If you don'tanswer the question, you'll be committed, Sir,' interposed the littlejudge, looking over his note-book.

'Come, Sir,' said Mr. Skimpin, 'yes or no, if you please.'

'Yes, I am,' replied Mr. Winkle.

'Yes, you are. And why couldn't you say that at once, Sir? Perhaps youknow the plaintiff too? Eh, Mr. Winkle?'

'I don't know her; I've seen her.'

'Oh, you don't know her, but you've seen her? Now, have the goodness totell the gentlemen of the jury what you mean by that, Mr. Winkle.'

'I mean that I am not intimate with her, but I have seen her when I wentto call on Mr. Pickwick, in Goswell Street.'

'How often have you seen her, Sir?'

'How often?'

'Yes, Mr. Winkle, how often? I'll repeat the question for you a dozentimes, if you require it, Sir.' And the learned gentleman, with a firmand steady frown, placed his hands on his hips, and smiled suspiciouslyto the jury.

On this question there arose the edifying brow-beating, customary onsuch points. First of all, Mr. Winkle said it was quite impossible forhim to say how many times he had seen Mrs. Bardell. Then he was asked ifhe had seen her twenty times, to which he replied, 'Certainly--morethan that.' Then he was asked whether he hadn't seen her a hundredtimes--whether he couldn't swear that he had seen her more than fiftytimes--whether he didn't know that he had seen her at least seventy-fivetimes, and so forth; the satisfactory conclusion which was arrived at,at last, being, that he had better take care of himself, and mind whathe was about. The witness having been by these means reduced to therequisite ebb of nervous perplexity, the examination was continued asfollows--

'Pray, Mr. Winkle, do you remember calling on the defendant Pickwickat these apartments in the plaintiff's house in Goswell Street, on oneparticular morning, in the month of July last?'

'Yes, I do.'

'Were you accompanied on that occasion by a friend of the name ofTupman, and another by the name of Snodgrass?'

'Yes, I was.'

'Are they here?' 'Yes, they are,' replied Mr. Winkle, looking veryearnestly towards the spot where his friends were stationed.

'Pray attend to me, Mr. Winkle, and never mind your friends,' said Mr.Skimpin, with another expressive look at the jury. 'They must tell theirstories without any previous consultation with you, if none has yettaken place (another look at the jury). Now, Sir, tell the gentlemenof the jury what you saw on entering the defendant's room, on thisparticular morning. Come; out with it, Sir; we must have it, sooner orlater.'

'The defendant, Mr. Pickwick, was holding the plaintiff in his arms,with his hands clasping her waist,' replied Mr. Winkle with naturalhesitation, 'and the plaintiff appeared to have fainted away.'

'Did you hear the defendant say anything?'

'I heard him call Mrs. Bardell a good creature, and I heard him ask herto compose herself, for what a situation it was, if anybody should come,or words to that effect.'

'Now, Mr. Winkle, I have only one more question to ask you, and I begyou to bear in mind his Lordship's caution. Will you undertake toswear that Pickwick, the defendant, did not say on the occasion inquestion--"My dear Mrs. Bardell, you're a good creature; composeyourself to this situation, for to this situation you must come," orwords to that effect?'

'I--I didn't understand him so, certainly,' said Mr. Winkle, astoundedon this ingenious dove-tailing of the few words he had heard. 'I was onthe staircase, and couldn't hear distinctly; the impression on my mindis--'

'The gentlemen of the jury want none of the impressions on yourmind, Mr. Winkle, which I fear would be of little service to honest,straightforward men,' interposed Mr. Skimpin. 'You were on thestaircase, and didn't distinctly hear; but you will not swear thatPickwick did not make use of the expressions I have quoted? Do Iunderstand that?'

'No, I will not,' replied Mr. Winkle; and down sat Mr. Skimpin with atriumphant countenance.

Mr. Pickwick's case had not gone off in so particularly happy a manner,up to this point, that it could very well afford to have any additionalsuspicion cast upon it. But as it could afford to be placed in a ratherbetter light, if possible, Mr. Phunky rose for the purpose of gettingsomething important out of Mr. Winkle in cross-examination. Whether hedid get anything important out of him, will immediately appear.

'I believe, Mr. Winkle,' said Mr. Phunky, 'that Mr. Pickwick is not ayoung man?'

'Oh, no,' replied Mr. Winkle; 'old enough to be my father.'

'You have told my learned friend that you have known Mr. Pickwick a longtime. Had you ever any reason to suppose or believe that he was about tobe married?'

'Oh, no; certainly not;' replied Mr. Winkle with so much eagerness,that Mr. Phunky ought to have got him out of the box with all possibledispatch. Lawyers hold that there are two kinds of particularly badwitnesses--a reluctant witness, and a too-willing witness; it was Mr.Winkle's fate to figure in both characters.

'I will even go further than this, Mr. Winkle,' continued Mr. Phunky, ina most smooth and complacent manner. 'Did you ever see anything in Mr.Pickwick's manner and conduct towards the opposite sex, to induce you tobelieve that he ever contemplated matrimony of late years, in any case?'

'Oh, no; certainly not,' replied Mr. Winkle.

'Has his behaviour, when females have been in the case, always been thatof a man, who, having attained a pretty advanced period of life, contentwith his own occupations and amusements, treats them only as a fathermight his daughters?'

'Not the least doubt of it,' replied Mr. Winkle, in the fulness of hisheart. 'That is--yes--oh, yes--certainly.'

'You have never known anything in his behaviour towards Mrs. Bardell,or any other female, in the least degree suspicious?' said Mr. Phunky,preparing to sit down; for Serjeant Snubbin was winking at him.

'N-n-no,' replied Mr. Winkle, 'except on one trifling occasion, which, Ihave no doubt, might be easily explained.'

Now, if the unfortunate Mr. Phunky had sat down when Serjeant Snubbinhad winked at him, or if Serjeant Buzfuz had stopped this irregularcross-examination at the outset (which he knew better than to do;observing Mr. Winkle's anxiety, and well knowing it would, in allprobability, lead to something serviceable to him), this unfortunateadmission would not have been elicited. The moment the words fell fromMr. Winkle's lips, Mr. Phunky sat down, and Serjeant Snubbin ratherhastily told him he might leave the box, which Mr. Winkle prepared to dowith great readiness, when Serjeant Buzfuz stopped him.

'Stay, Mr. Winkle, stay!' said Serjeant Buzfuz, 'will your Lordship havethe goodness to ask him, what this one instance of suspicious behaviourtowards females on the part of this gentleman, who is old enough to behis father, was?'

'You hear what the learned counsel says, Sir,' observed the judge,turning to the miserable and agonised Mr. Winkle. 'Describe the occasionto which you refer.'

'My Lord,' said Mr. Winkle, trembling with anxiety, 'I--I'd rather not.'

'Perhaps so,' said the little judge; 'but you must.'

Amid the profound silence of the whole court, Mr. Winkle faltered out,that the trifling circumstance of suspicion was Mr. Pickwick's beingfound in a lady's sleeping-apartment at midnight; which had terminated,he believed, in the breaking off of the projected marriage of the ladyin question, and had led, he knew, to the whole party being forciblycarried before George Nupkins, Esq., magistrate and justice of thepeace, for the borough of Ipswich!

'You may leave the box, Sir,' said Serjeant Snubbin. Mr. Winkle didleave the box, and rushed with delirious haste to the George andVulture, where he was discovered some hours after, by the waiter,groaning in a hollow and dismal manner, with his head buried beneath thesofa cushions.

Tracy Tupman, and Augustus Snodgrass, were severally called into thebox; both corroborated the testimony of their unhappy friend; and eachwas driven to the verge of desperation by excessive badgering.Susannah Sanders was then called, and examined by Serjeant Buzfuz, andcross-examined by Serjeant Snubbin. Had always said and believed thatPickwick would marry Mrs. Bardell; knew that Mrs. Bardell's beingengaged to Pickwick was the current topic of conversation in theneighbourhood, after the fainting in July; had been told it herself byMrs. Mudberry which kept a mangle, and Mrs. Bunkin which clear-starched,but did not see either Mrs. Mudberry or Mrs. Bunkin in court. Had heardPickwick ask the little boy how he should like to have another father.Did not know that Mrs. Bardell was at that time keeping company withthe baker, but did know that the baker was then a single man and isnow married. Couldn't swear that Mrs. Bardell was not very fond ofthe baker, but should think that the baker was not very fond of Mrs.Bardell, or he wouldn't have married somebody else. Thought Mrs. Bardellfainted away on the morning in July, because Pickwick asked her toname the day: knew that she (witness) fainted away stone dead when Mr.Sanders asked her to name the day, and believed that everybody as calledherself a lady would do the same, under similar circumstances. HeardPickwick ask the boy the question about the marbles, but upon her oathdid not know the difference between an 'alley tor' and a 'commoney.'

By the COURT.--During the period of her keeping company with Mr.Sanders, had received love letters, like other ladies. In the courseof their correspondence Mr. Sanders had often called her a 'duck,'but never 'chops,' nor yet 'tomato sauce.' He was particularly fondof ducks. Perhaps if he had been as fond of chops and tomato sauce, hemight have called her that, as a term of affection.

Serjeant Buzfuz now rose with more importance than he had yet exhibited,if that were possible, and vociferated; 'Call Samuel Weller.'

It was quite unnecessary to call Samuel Weller; for Samuel Wellerstepped briskly into the box the instant his name was pronounced;and placing his hat on the floor, and his arms on the rail, took abird's-eye view of the Bar, and a comprehensive survey of the Bench,with a remarkably cheerful and lively aspect. 'What's your name, sir?'inquired the judge.

'Sam Weller, my Lord,' replied that gentleman.

'Do you spell it with a "V" or a "W"?' inquired the judge.

'That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my Lord,' repliedSam; 'I never had occasion to spell it more than once or twice in mylife, but I spells it with a "V."'

Here a voice in the gallery exclaimed aloud, 'Quite right too, Samivel,quite right. Put it down a "we," my Lord, put it down a "we."' 'Who isthat, who dares address the court?' said the little judge, looking up.'Usher.'

'Yes, my Lord.'

'Bring that person here instantly.'

'Yes, my Lord.'

But as the usher didn't find the person, he didn't bring him; and,after a great commotion, all the people who had got up to look for theculprit, sat down again. The little judge turned to the witness as soonas his indignation would allow him to speak, and said--

'Do you know who that was, sir?'

'I rayther suspect it was my father, my lord,' replied Sam.

'Do you see him here now?' said the judge.

'No, I don't, my Lord,' replied Sam, staring right up into the lanternat the roof of the court.

'If you could have pointed him out, I would have committed himinstantly,' said the judge. Sam bowed his acknowledgments and turned,with unimpaired cheerfulness of countenance, towards Serjeant Buzfuz.

'Now, Mr. Weller,' said Serjeant Buzfuz.

'Now, sir,' replied Sam.

'I believe you are in the service of Mr. Pickwick, the defendant in thiscase? Speak up, if you please, Mr. Weller.'

'I mean to speak up, Sir,' replied Sam; 'I am in the service o' that'ere gen'l'man, and a wery good service it is.'

'Little to do, and plenty to get, I suppose?' said Serjeant Buzfuz, withjocularity. 'Oh, quite enough to get, Sir, as the soldier said ven theyordered him three hundred and fifty lashes,' replied Sam.

'You must not tell us what the soldier, or any other man, said, Sir,'interposed the judge; 'it's not evidence.'

'Wery good, my Lord,' replied Sam.

'Do you recollect anything particular happening on the morning whenyou were first engaged by the defendant; eh, Mr. Weller?' said SerjeantBuzfuz.

'Yes, I do, sir,' replied Sam.

'Have the goodness to tell the jury what it was.'

'I had a reg'lar new fit out o' clothes that mornin', gen'l'men ofthe jury,' said Sam, 'and that was a wery partickler and uncommoncircumstance vith me in those days.'

Hereupon there was a general laugh; and the little judge, looking withan angry countenance over his desk, said, 'You had better be careful,Sir.'

'So Mr. Pickwick said at the time, my Lord,' replied Sam; 'and I waswery careful o' that 'ere suit o' clothes; wery careful indeed, myLord.'

The judge looked sternly at Sam for full two minutes, but Sam's featureswere so perfectly calm and serene that the judge said nothing, andmotioned Serjeant Buzfuz to proceed.

'Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Weller,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, folding hisarms emphatically, and turning half-round to the jury, as if in muteassurance that he would bother the witness yet--'do you mean to tellme, Mr. Weller, that you saw nothing of this fainting on the part of theplaintiff in the arms of the defendant, which you have heard describedby the witnesses?' 'Certainly not,' replied Sam; 'I was in the passagetill they called me up, and then the old lady was not there.'

'Now, attend, Mr. Weller,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, dipping a large peninto the inkstand before him, for the purpose of frightening Sam witha show of taking down his answer. 'You were in the passage, and yet sawnothing of what was going forward. Have you a pair of eyes, Mr. Weller?'

'Yes, I have a pair of eyes,' replied Sam, 'and that's just it. If theywos a pair o' patent double million magnifyin' gas microscopes of hextrapower, p'raps I might be able to see through a flight o' stairs and adeal door; but bein' only eyes, you see, my wision 's limited.'

At this answer, which was delivered without the slightest appearanceof irritation, and with the most complete simplicity and equanimity ofmanner, the spectators tittered, the little judge smiled, and SerjeantBuzfuz looked particularly foolish. After a short consultation withDodson & Fogg, the learned Serjeant again turned towards Sam, and said,with a painful effort to conceal his vexation, 'Now, Mr. Weller, I'llask you a question on another point, if you please.'

'If you please, Sir,' rejoined Sam, with the utmost good-humour.

'Do you remember going up to Mrs. Bardell's house, one night in Novemberlast?' 'Oh, yes, wery well.'

'Oh, you do remember that, Mr. Weller,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, recoveringhis spirits; 'I thought we should get at something at last.'

'I rayther thought that, too, sir,' replied Sam; and at this thespectators tittered again.

'Well; I suppose you went up to have a little talk about this trial--eh,Mr. Weller?' said Serjeant Buzfuz, looking knowingly at the jury.

'I went up to pay the rent; but we did get a-talkin' about the trial,'replied Sam.

'Oh, you did get a-talking about the trial,' said Serjeant Buzfuz,brightening up with the anticipation of some important discovery. 'Now,what passed about the trial; will you have the goodness to tell us, Mr.Weller'?'

'Vith all the pleasure in life, sir,' replied Sam. 'Arter a fewunimportant obserwations from the two wirtuous females as has beenexamined here to-day, the ladies gets into a very great state o'admiration at the honourable conduct of Mr. Dodson and Fogg--them twogen'l'men as is settin' near you now.' This, of course, drew generalattention to Dodson & Fogg, who looked as virtuous as possible.

'The attorneys for the plaintiff,' said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz. 'Well! Theyspoke in high praise of the honourable conduct of Messrs. Dodson andFogg, the attorneys for the plaintiff, did they?'

'Yes,' said Sam, 'they said what a wery gen'rous thing it was o' them tohave taken up the case on spec, and to charge nothing at all for costs,unless they got 'em out of Mr. Pickwick.'

At this very unexpected reply, the spectators tittered again, and Dodson& Fogg, turning very red, leaned over to Serjeant Buzfuz, and in ahurried manner whispered something in his ear.

'You are quite right,' said Serjeant Buzfuz aloud, with affectedcomposure. 'It's perfectly useless, my Lord, attempting to get at anyevidence through the impenetrable stupidity of this witness. I will nottrouble the court by asking him any more questions. Stand down, sir.'

'Would any other gen'l'man like to ask me anythin'?' inquired Sam,taking up his hat, and looking round most deliberately.

'Not I, Mr. Weller, thank you,' said Serjeant Snubbin, laughing.

'You may go down, sir,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, waving his handimpatiently. Sam went down accordingly, after doing Messrs. Dodson &Fogg's case as much harm as he conveniently could, and saying just aslittle respecting Mr. Pickwick as might be, which was precisely theobject he had had in view all along.

'I have no objection to admit, my Lord,' said Serjeant Snubbin, 'ifit will save the examination of another witness, that Mr. Pickwick hasretired from business, and is a gentleman of considerable independentproperty.'

'Very well,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, putting in the two letters to beread, 'then that's my case, my Lord.'

Serjeant Snubbin then addressed the jury on behalf of the defendant;and a very long and a very emphatic address he delivered, in which hebestowed the highest possible eulogiums on the conduct and character ofMr. Pickwick; but inasmuch as our readers are far better able to form acorrect estimate of that gentleman's merits and deserts, than SerjeantSnubbin could possibly be, we do not feel called upon to enter at anylength into the learned gentleman's observations. He attempted toshow that the letters which had been exhibited, merely related to Mr.Pickwick's dinner, or to the preparations for receiving him in hisapartments on his return from some country excursion. It is sufficientto add in general terms, that he did the best he could for Mr. Pickwick;and the best, as everybody knows, on the infallible authority of the oldadage, could do no more.

Mr. Justice Stareleigh summed up, in the old-established and mostapproved form. He read as much of his notes to the jury as he coulddecipher on so short a notice, and made running-comments on the evidenceas he went along. If Mrs. Bardell were right, it was perfectly clearthat Mr. Pickwick was wrong, and if they thought the evidence of Mrs.Cluppins worthy of credence they would believe it, and, if they didn't,why, they wouldn't. If they were satisfied that a breach of promise ofmarriage had been committed they would find for the plaintiff with suchdamages as they thought proper; and if, on the other hand, it appearedto them that no promise of marriage had ever been given, they would findfor the defendant with no damages at all. The jury then retired totheir private room to talk the matter over, and the judge retired toHIS private room, to refresh himself with a mutton chop and a glass ofsherry. An anxious quarter of a hour elapsed; the jury came back; thejudge was fetched in. Mr. Pickwick put on his spectacles, and gazed atthe foreman with an agitated countenance and a quickly-beating heart.

'Gentlemen,' said the individual in black, 'are you all agreed upon yourverdict?'

'We are,' replied the foreman.

'Do you find for the plaintiff, gentlemen, or for the defendant?' 'Forthe plaintiff.'

'With what damages, gentlemen?'

'Seven hundred and fifty pounds.'

Mr. Pickwick took off his spectacles, carefully wiped the glasses,folded them into their case, and put them in his pocket; then, havingdrawn on his gloves with great nicety, and stared at the foreman allthe while, he mechanically followed Mr. Perker and the blue bag out ofcourt.

They stopped in a side room while Perker paid the court fees; andhere, Mr. Pickwick was joined by his friends. Here, too, he encounteredMessrs. Dodson & Fogg, rubbing their hands with every token of outwardsatisfaction.

'Well, gentlemen,' said Mr. Pickwick.

'Well, Sir,' said Dodson, for self and partner.

'You imagine you'll get your costs, don't you, gentlemen?' said Mr.Pickwick.

Fogg said they thought it rather probable. Dodson smiled, and saidthey'd try.

'You may try, and try, and try again, Messrs. Dodson and Fogg,' saidMr. Pickwick vehemently,'but not one farthing of costs or damages doyou ever get from me, if I spend the rest of my existence in a debtor'sprison.'

'Ha! ha!' laughed Dodson. 'You'll think better of that, before nextterm, Mr. Pickwick.'

'He, he, he! We'll soon see about that, Mr. Pickwick,' grinned Fogg.

Speechless with indignation, Mr. Pickwick allowed himself to be ledby his solicitor and friends to the door, and there assisted intoa hackney-coach, which had been fetched for the purpose, by theever-watchful Sam Weller.

Sam had put up the steps, and was preparing to jump upon the box, whenhe felt himself gently touched on the shoulder; and, looking round, hisfather stood before him. The old gentleman's countenance wore a mournfulexpression, as he shook his head gravely, and said, in warning accents--

'I know'd what 'ud come o' this here mode o' doin' bisness. Oh, Sammy,Sammy, vy worn't there a alleybi!'