Chapter 22 - In Which Passepartout's Nose Becomes Outrageously Long
The next morning poor, jaded, famished Passepartout said to himselfthat he must get something to eat at all hazards, and the sooner he didso the better. He might, indeed, sell his watch; but he would havestarved first. Now or never he must use the strong, if not melodiousvoice which nature had bestowed upon him. He knew several French andEnglish songs, and resolved to try them upon the Japanese, who must belovers of music, since they were for ever pounding on their cymbals,tam-tams, and tambourines, and could not but appreciate European talent.
It was, perhaps, rather early in the morning to get up a concert, andthe audience prematurely aroused from their slumbers, might notpossibly pay their entertainer with coin bearing the Mikado's features.Passepartout therefore decided to wait several hours; and, as he wassauntering along, it occurred to him that he would seem rather too welldressed for a wandering artist. The idea struck him to change hisgarments for clothes more in harmony with his project; by which hemight also get a little money to satisfy the immediate cravings ofhunger. The resolution taken, it remained to carry it out.
It was only after a long search that Passepartout discovered a nativedealer in old clothes, to whom he applied for an exchange. The manliked the European costume, and ere long Passepartout issued from hisshop accoutred in an old Japanese coat, and a sort of one-sided turban,faded with long use. A few small pieces of silver, moreover, jingledin his pocket.
"Good!" thought he. "I will imagine I am at the Carnival!"
His first care, after being thus "Japanesed," was to enter a tea-houseof modest appearance, and, upon half a bird and a little rice, tobreakfast like a man for whom dinner was as yet a problem to be solved.
"Now," thought he, when he had eaten heartily, "I mustn't lose my head.I can't sell this costume again for one still more Japanese. I mustconsider how to leave this country of the Sun, of which I shall notretain the most delightful of memories, as quickly as possible."
It occurred to him to visit the steamers which were about to leave forAmerica. He would offer himself as a cook or servant, in payment ofhis passage and meals. Once at San Francisco, he would find some meansof going on. The difficulty was, how to traverse the four thousandseven hundred miles of the Pacific which lay between Japan and the NewWorld.
Passepartout was not the man to let an idea go begging, and directedhis steps towards the docks. But, as he approached them, his project,which at first had seemed so simple, began to grow more and moreformidable to his mind. What need would they have of a cook or servanton an American steamer, and what confidence would they put in him,dressed as he was? What references could he give?
As he was reflecting in this wise, his eyes fell upon an immenseplacard which a sort of clown was carrying through the streets. Thisplacard, which was in English, read as follows:
ACROBATIC JAPANESE TROUPE, HONOURABLE WILLIAM BATULCAR, PROPRIETOR, LAST REPRESENTATIONS,PRIOR TO THEIR DEPARTURE TO THE UNITED STATES, OF THE LONG NOSES! LONG NOSES!UNDER THE DIRECT PATRONAGE OF THE GOD TINGOU! GREAT ATTRACTION!
"The United States!" said Passepartout; "that's just what I want!"
He followed the clown, and soon found himself once more in the Japanesequarter. A quarter of an hour later he stopped before a large cabin,adorned with several clusters of streamers, the exterior walls of whichwere designed to represent, in violent colours and without perspective,a company of jugglers.
This was the Honourable William Batulcar's establishment. Thatgentleman was a sort of Barnum, the director of a troupe ofmountebanks, jugglers, clowns, acrobats, equilibrists, and gymnasts,who, according to the placard, was giving his last performances beforeleaving the Empire of the Sun for the States of the Union.
Passepartout entered and asked for Mr. Batulcar, who straightwayappeared in person.
"What do you want?" said he to Passepartout, whom he at first took fora native.
"Would you like a servant, sir?" asked Passepartout.
"A servant!" cried Mr. Batulcar, caressing the thick grey beard whichhung from his chin. "I already have two who are obedient and faithful,have never left me, and serve me for their nourishment and here theyare," added he, holding out his two robust arms, furrowed with veins aslarge as the strings of a bass-viol.
"So I can be of no use to you?"
"None."
"The devil! I should so like to cross the Pacific with you!"
"Ah!" said the Honourable Mr. Batulcar. "You are no more a Japanesethan I am a monkey! Who are you dressed up in that way?"
"A man dresses as he can."
"That's true. You are a Frenchman, aren't you?"
"Yes; a Parisian of Paris."
"Then you ought to know how to make grimaces?"
"Why," replied Passepartout, a little vexed that his nationality shouldcause this question, "we Frenchmen know how to make grimaces, it istrue but not any better than the Americans do."
"True. Well, if I can't take you as a servant, I can as a clown. Yousee, my friend, in France they exhibit foreign clowns, and in foreignparts French clowns."
"Ah!"
"You are pretty strong, eh?"
"Especially after a good meal."
"And you can sing?"
"Yes," returned Passepartout, who had formerly been wont to sing in thestreets.
"But can you sing standing on your head, with a top spinning on yourleft foot, and a sabre balanced on your right?"
"Humph! I think so," replied Passepartout, recalling the exercises ofhis younger days.
"Well, that's enough," said the Honourable William Batulcar.
The engagement was concluded there and then.
Passepartout had at last found something to do. He was engaged to actin the celebrated Japanese troupe. It was not a very dignifiedposition, but within a week he would be on his way to San Francisco.
The performance, so noisily announced by the Honourable Mr. Batulcar,was to commence at three o'clock, and soon the deafening instruments ofa Japanese orchestra resounded at the door. Passepartout, though hehad not been able to study or rehearse a part, was designated to lendthe aid of his sturdy shoulders in the great exhibition of the "humanpyramid," executed by the Long Noses of the god Tingou. This "greatattraction" was to close the performance.
Before three o'clock the large shed was invaded by the spectators,comprising Europeans and natives, Chinese and Japanese, men, women andchildren, who precipitated themselves upon the narrow benches and intothe boxes opposite the stage. The musicians took up a position inside,and were vigorously performing on their gongs, tam-tams, flutes, bones,tambourines, and immense drums.
The performance was much like all acrobatic displays; but it must beconfessed that the Japanese are the first equilibrists in the world.
One, with a fan and some bits of paper, performed the graceful trick ofthe butterflies and the flowers; another traced in the air, with theodorous smoke of his pipe, a series of blue words, which composed acompliment to the audience; while a third juggled with some lightedcandles, which he extinguished successively as they passed his lips,and relit again without interrupting for an instant his juggling.Another reproduced the most singular combinations with a spinning-top;in his hands the revolving tops seemed to be animated with a life oftheir own in their interminable whirling; they ran over pipe-stems, theedges of sabres, wires and even hairs stretched across the stage; theyturned around on the edges of large glasses, crossed bamboo ladders,dispersed into all the corners, and produced strange musical effects bythe combination of their various pitches of tone. The jugglers tossedthem in the air, threw them like shuttlecocks with wooden battledores,and yet they kept on spinning; they put them into their pockets, andtook them out still whirling as before.
It is useless to describe the astonishing performances of the acrobatsand gymnasts. The turning on ladders, poles, balls, barrels, &c., wasexecuted with wonderful precision.
But the principal attraction was the exhibition of the Long Noses, ashow to which Europe is as yet a stranger.
The Long Noses form a peculiar company, under the direct patronage ofthe god Tingou. Attired after the fashion of the Middle Ages, theybore upon their shoulders a splendid pair of wings; but what especiallydistinguished them was the long noses which were fastened to theirfaces, and the uses which they made of them. These noses were made ofbamboo, and were five, six, and even ten feet long, some straight,others curved, some ribboned, and some having imitation warts uponthem. It was upon these appendages, fixed tightly on their real noses,that they performed their gymnastic exercises. A dozen of thesesectaries of Tingou lay flat upon their backs, while others, dressed torepresent lightning-rods, came and frolicked on their noses, jumpingfrom one to another, and performing the most skilful leapings andsomersaults.
As a last scene, a "human pyramid" had been announced, in which fiftyLong Noses were to represent the Car of Juggernaut. But, instead offorming a pyramid by mounting each other's shoulders, the artists wereto group themselves on top of the noses. It happened that theperformer who had hitherto formed the base of the Car had quitted thetroupe, and as, to fill this part, only strength and adroitness werenecessary, Passepartout had been chosen to take his place.
The poor fellow really felt sad when--melancholy reminiscence of hisyouth!--he donned his costume, adorned with vari-coloured wings, andfastened to his natural feature a false nose six feet long. But hecheered up when he thought that this nose was winning him something toeat.
He went upon the stage, and took his place beside the rest who were tocompose the base of the Car of Juggernaut. They all stretchedthemselves on the floor, their noses pointing to the ceiling. A secondgroup of artists disposed themselves on these long appendages, then athird above these, then a fourth, until a human monument reaching tothe very cornices of the theatre soon arose on top of the noses. Thiselicited loud applause, in the midst of which the orchestra was juststriking up a deafening air, when the pyramid tottered, the balance waslost, one of the lower noses vanished from the pyramid, and the humanmonument was shattered like a castle built of cards!
It was Passepartout's fault. Abandoning his position, clearing thefootlights without the aid of his wings, and, clambering up to theright-hand gallery, he fell at the feet of one of the spectators,crying, "Ah, my master! my master!"
"You here?"
"Myself."
"Very well; then let us go to the steamer, young man!"
Mr. Fogg, Aouda, and Passepartout passed through the lobby of thetheatre to the outside, where they encountered the Honourable Mr.Batulcar, furious with rage. He demanded damages for the "breakage" ofthe pyramid; and Phileas Fogg appeased him by giving him a handful ofbanknotes.
At half-past six, the very hour of departure, Mr. Fogg and Aouda,followed by Passepartout, who in his hurry had retained his wings, andnose six feet long, stepped upon the American steamer.